Dandy Dust

Dandy Dust - with Paul Hallam, P-P Hartnett, and Stephen Smart Dandy Dust - with Paul Hallam, Suzie Krueger, Charlotte Schepke, P-P Hartnett, Leonora Rogers-Wright, and Anthony Escott Dandy Dust - with Paul Hallam, Suzie Krueger, Charlotte Schepke, P-P Hartnett, Leonora Rogers-Wright, and Anthony Escott - 2 Dandy Dust - with Paul Hallam, Suzie Krueger, Charlotte Schepke, P-P Hartnett, Leonora Rogers-Wright, and Anthony Escott - 3 Dandy Dust - with Paul Hallam, Suzie Krueger, Charlotte Schepke, P-P Hartnett, Leonora Rogers-Wright, and Anthony Escott - 4 Dandy Dust - with Paul Hallam, Suzie Krueger, Charlotte Schepke, P-P Hartnett, Leonora Rogers-Wright, and Anthony Escott - 5

Emails from Paul at the beginning of November 2015 abour Dandy Dust:

Another link

I played a teacher in an art class, and was lynched by Suzie Kruger in it!

I was also a script adviser!
Paul Hallam



I only went once, it was at a very big South London venue. With F, me in army fatigues. I loved it. Maybe you came too that night? She was lovely on the set of the film!


It was all filmed in an old factory – then Hans’s studio, in Hackney. Not in any clubs! It might be on Youtube … we were very close, met at the Da Sodoma a Hollywood gay film festival in Torino … he is now a senior art prof in Vienna. When we wandered Torino, tourists stopped in their tracks, she was dressed as a posh English schoolboy, beautiful boysih looks and I must have looked like her “daddy”.

We were reunited here, on ferry a few years ago.


Director: Hans Scheirl • 97 min. • 1998

94min. 16mm.Colour



Cruel wars are raging through the centuries on the Planet of White Dust. Supermother Cyniborg lands with her space-ship the Mothership onto the corpse-strewn planet: she is searching for missing relatives and suitable body-parts. The Twins are on her side doing the dirty work.

We hear screams. A soldier is raping another soldier holding a gun in his mouth. Zack! An arrow hits the rapist’s body. Zack! another arrow pierces his trigger-finger. Out of all his body-openings sperm gushes in abundance. Finally all that is left of him is a white puddle that gets soaked up into the bone-sand and dries instantly. A gust of wind carries this special mixture up into the sky: Dandy Dust!!!

The narrator starts telling the story of Dandy’s sad childhood, but gets interrupted: ‘Sometimes when we know too much we forget everything’. A bored Dust is floating in space. Suddenly s/he sees a new planet growing: the Planet of 3075!

Dust belly-lands onto the planet. A coil whirls itself around Dust and s/he is catapulted into the Red Lab where the Twins take out Dust’s memory disc.

Dust stumbles across 3075’s body/landscape-in-construction. A cyber-surgeon takes Dust’s suit in exchange for a fresh memory-disc which plugs Dust into 3075’s cybernetic structure.

Many aeons whirled in endless circles… While plugged into the bladder of the city, Dust has an apparition: Dandy, hers past self. Dust’s fetishistic memory is triggered, an alien concept for the inhabitants of 3075. Dust builds the virtual reality fantasy space ‘Art-Class’, which can be visited by taking a specially designed drug. Dust persuades h friends to come along.

‘Art-class’ is an end-of-19th century ‘gentlemen-only’ art academy. The students draw nudes and cruise each other. A zombiefied Sir Sidore enters. Dust flirts with him but soon realizes that this figure is really weird. Cyniborg enters, accompanied by the Twins. The Warden approaches reminding them of the institution’s strict dress-code. Cyniborg retaliates: ‘I’m not going to join this foul class, I came to get my baby!’ She grabs Dust with her long arm. Dust screams a piercing scream that opens old wounds. The family-zombies’ blood splatters everywhere.

This incident in VR-fantasy leaves Dust confused and s/he starts to have nightmares involving Cyniborg and Sir Sidore.

A winged coffin forces itself through the urinary system of 3075 into the bladder. A dusty bandaged figure steps out: the Mummy. S/hit claims to be Dust’s better half: only their unification would bring back the lost memories Dust needs to fight the crazed family.

This sounds to Dust like old-fashioned love-crap. In a violent argument Dust distroys the Mummy who turns out to be a hollow shell of bandages filled with special-effect bags: tears, blood, piss, sweat. Dust throws the left-overs onto exposed cables which ignite a flame that rises above the planet: The Flame is born!

Dust is killed by The Twins and brought to Supermother Cyniborg’s space-ship The Mothership. Cyniborg makes Dust her prisoner: she’s after hirs eggs, the Fancy Family Juwels!

The Flame helps Dust to get free and introduces herm to aunt Theodora, a newly revived ancestor. Theodora has been busy getting her room ready for lift-off. She is planning to visit ‘Figure-Field’, a mathematix convention, to get out of reach of Cyniborgs’s claws. Flame & Dust watch the flashback of their lives on

Theodora’s orange monitor.

A cold day in the cemetary on the Planet of Blood&Swelling. Dandy mourns at Cyniborg’s grave. After the mysterious death of his mother in early childhood, he is raised by father Sir Sidore. A repressed sexual attraction underlies their righteous manners. They both love nature & enjoy hunting. But Sir Sidore is really a frustrated bitch and makes sure Dandy does not show much enthusiasm about anything.

On one of his walks through the romantic bloodvessel forests he finds: ‘The Freckled Egg!’. Back in his attic room in the family mansion he carves a hole in ihis favorite book on time-travelling in a last effort to find a way out of this depressing time/space.

As the night progresses with gothic spookyness, a hairy ball hatches out of the book:

Spidercuntboy!! aka Spider C.b.

Spider C.b. lures Dandy into a deal: in exchange for sexual favours he promises to take Dandy on a trip into the future to visit his sexually fluid future-self Dust. Spider C.b. & Dandy travel to 3075 in the green time-worm tunnel. For a few moments Dandy gets a chance to see Dust in electro-chemical ecstasy.

This incident clicks Dandy out of his repression into horny megalomaniac madness. At a dinner-party given by Sir Sidore, he stuffs food into his trousers, bites a guest (Lady D) into her leg, makes a pass at his father, runs after a mouse on all fours pulling the table-cloth from the table, so

that food & wine splatter across the noble crowd. He catches the mouse and eats it. Outraged Lady D is leaving. Dandy pursues her & forces a bloody kiss on her mouth. Lady D severely punishes Dandy in front of everyone & passionately kisses him. Sir Sidore’s desire is unleashed & his hate is a volcano ready to erupt!

After Dandy had some more fun playing with the animals in the stable, he falls asleep on a pile of hey. Sir Sidore enters, screws on a drill-dildo & rapes the deliriously unfortunate Dandy. Dandy happens to always have a shotgun at hand & shoots Sir Sidore’s brains out.

The Twins arrive on their caterpillars. They meditate until the remains of Dandy & Sir Sidore are transformed into television noise that trickles into the caterpillar scoops. During their journey through space to the Mothership the Twins force Dandy’s electronic identity cloud to remember the horrible family-tragedy:

The child Dandy is loved and spoiled by both hers parents. They themselves hate each other profoundly and made the child into their (worthless!) mediator.

When Dandy hears that mother Cyniborg is pregnant with twins, Dandy kills Cyniborg. Instant guilt erases the child’s memory of the murder and divides herm into two: one of them lifts off into space to become a cloud of TV-noise, the other one stays to become the adolescent Dandy.

At mother Cyniborg’s funeral the earth trembles: enraged by her murder, Cyniborg pulls out of the ground, taking the family-crypt & a good chunk of graveyard with her into space: The Mothership is born!!

Terribly moved by the traumatic events of their common childhood, Dust & Flame unite & become ‘Dandy Dust’!! Now exuberant, he dances around & weeps in desperation & joy infront of Theodora’s surprised eyes: Dandy Dust has a flaming head! Theodora congratulates Dandy Dust to the new identity and continues unscrewing her room. Dandy Dust continues watching the flashback:

The Twins land their caterpillars on the drive-way of the mothership with Dandy & Sir Sidore’s tv-noise heaps in their scoops. While Cyniborg starts her genetic manipulation on her loved ones’ diffused electro-bodies, the Twins check into their cyber-stalls.

Cyniborg’s experiments are disturbed when Spider C.b. pays her a visit to get his part of the deal. Although Theodora helps Cyniborg to get rid of Spider C.b. he still gets a good mouthful of electronic Dandy juice. Whether that had anything to do with it, we don’t know, but Cyniborg’s experiments fail and she has to transform Dandy and Sir Sidore back into their heavily abused bodies to apply

old-fashioned stitching methods.

Bandaged from head to toe Dandy becomes the Mummy and escapes the Mothership with the help of h lovely aunt Theodora who gives him a flying coffin.

End of flashback.

Now Dandy Dust is ready to face the tyrannical mother and finally say goodbye to family-zombie life. He walks through the vaults of the crypt repeating -h- mantra: ‘I am Dandy Dust. From now on I will take my life into my own hands. I love you all dearly but I have to go my own path. Believe me…’

Out of the shadows of the crypt hands are grabbing herm: the family-members pick Dandy Dust up & strap herm into the gynaecological chair. Then they approach with big, fat, ejeculating dildoes on sticks.

Cyniborg proclaims: ‘We will put an end to sloppy patchwork. We must breed! Clean and intelligent we plan our future!’ Dandy Dust retorts: ‘I am Dandy Dust. You cannot reach me. You feeble flees feeding from my rivers, come and see that I’m burning!!’

Suddenly the family-members tear down their masks: with horror Dandy Dust realises that they are all h-self! playing a dirty trick on h-: ‘Here we are! We would never leave you alone. we’ve got a surprise for you: a special-effect!’ They miniaturise the mothership. Inside the mini-sick bay the real family, tiny zombie-robo-puppets now, are slashing each other. Butthe Twins have disappeared via their cyberstalls. Dandy Dust does not see any other way out than to beam h-self into the mini-sickbay, fight the zombie-robots and check into sister Lisa’s cyber-stall. But instead of ‘cyberspace’ Dandy Dust finds h-self inside Mao’s blood-stream. Lisa & Mao finally get to tell their story: that they have grown the planet of 3075 via parthenogenetical conception, but so far have been unable to make is atmosphere breathable to them. Dandy Dust pleads with Mao to let herm out. The very moment Mao throws Dandy Dust up and into the black water of their aquarium, the much sought-after gas starts bubbling.

The Mothership explodes, Dandy Dust is madder than ever and the

Twins have been happily dancing on 3075 ever since!!